Confessions of a Half-hearted Christian
by WCBI have a confession to make.
I don’t like to sing. All that smiling, joyfulness, emotions dancing in my heart and escaping from my mouth. Eeww!
I can read music, play an instrument or two, carry a tune, make a loud noise, even wake up the dead if I put my mind to it. But, it’s not my first love nor my last. It’s not even on the list. I just do it. Nike would want me for a commercial.
But then I was asked to take part in the musical - THE SON. I came kicking and screaming, solely because I love the church (not the building), I love the Son, I love my friend, Lewis.
I determined I’d do my best with the part I was given. Being type casted as Satan helped. I have natural inclinations that I could tap into. Grr!
I went to a practice, with my half-hearted, though perhaps well hidden, attitude - If all else fails sing loud and people will think I am doing my best.
I noticed straightaway that I was the only one there with the wrong mindset. I convinced myself I was trying to be in character - be like the devil. Why, he wouldn’t want to be like all those happy Christians, now would he?
Everybody was trying hard. Digging down deep. One person in particular struck me as really giving it her all…Vivian.
How she indeed puts her heart and soul and mind and strength into her singing. And how good it sounds!
When I listened and saw Vivian sing, I determined that it was no longer appropriate for me to just show up, Woody Allen’s philosophy notwithstanding. It was not enough to just sing loud. I must put aside my grumbling, my half baked notion that I was a good boy just for pitching in. I had to give God what He deserves, my best, my whole heart.
I do not think I will sing any better than I would have anyway, but I do know that thanks to Vivian and the others I will sing with all that God has given me to work with, at least for 3:49 secs, twice this Saturday. God expects nothing less.
I am reminded that it’s our Christian brothers and sisters, the church, that spurs one another to do good and with that, have a good attitude.
See you all, Saturday. To be sure, the devil will be 100% there… and more. Welcome to my world.
March 24th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
But what jumps out at me from your post is not just your willingness to serve — even in an area you are not passionate about, but your recognition of the role of the church in helping you (all of us, of course) grow. Just as you have done with others, so now it has been done for you.
Fun, isn’t it?